Mephisto: I am part of that force that always wills the evil and always produces the good. I am
the spirit that always denies! -J.W.V. Goethe

Blaspheming, scolding, criticizing, competing, putting down, comparing, grumbling, judging,
mocking, being arrogant and cynical… who doesn’t know this who comes from groups? And
often we only realize too late how we, in a good mood and cheerful, stumble into the nets of
such energy and flounder in them like a fly…and we are left with heaviness in mind and body.
This happens everywhere people come together, in love relationships, at work, at university –
even spiritual communities and the yoga scene.

Laura comes to me during an intensive three-week course with techniques from tantra, yoga, art
and shamanism:
“How can I shield myself from the negativity of fellow students?”

I ask about the situation.

“Today I felt strong and invulnerable after the intensive mantra chanting. For the first time, I
experienced the power of vibration in my body, felt a channel open up and I could sense
the presence of something greater.”

“Then, at breakfast, my neighbor at the table: “I don’t like this loud mantra chanting. This
teacher is annoying. I can’t imagine that she really learned it from the saddhus.” There
went my meditative, relaxed and peaceful mood. I realized how quickly I let myself be
manipulated by negativity. How quickly I am prepared to doubt my own perception and
give in to the negative.”

This socio-psychological phenomenon is known as the “negativity effect”. Brain research
assumes that we think around 60,000 thoughts every day, and only 3% of these are positive
(Deutschlandfunk Nova 10.12.2020). We give more weight to negative impressions and
problems than to balanced or happy moments.

A good friend of many years does something we can’t accept – and the many good years are
forgotten. And in our emotional world, the “unpleasant” feelings usually take center stage.
What can we do to escape this web of negativity?

Positive reinforcement

An important first step is to become aware of what is actually happening, Laura and I realize
together that she has learned a lot for herself through this seemingly negative situation: she had
become aware of how easy it is to be infected by the negativity of my fellow human beings. Soshe didn’t need any “help”, just positive reinforcement that from now on she can decide how to
deal with such a situation – it gives her new choices.

-She can avoid this person.
-She can learn to imagine a circle of light around herself to stay in the light whenever she feels
herself slipping into negativity.
-She can learn not to take attacks personally
-She can enter into a conversation with the person: “You know, if you portray everything so
negatively, it’s not good for me at the moment – I’m here to remain open to new experiences”.

In the tantric-yogic context, every encounter with “negativity” is a learning opportunity: thoughts
and feelings are also energy, and I as a person have the opportunity to redirect this energy and
restructure myself. Even if I discover that I am one of those people who criticize and criticize
everything and everyone. I can change that.

We were all shaped in our childhood, that’s part of being human. Our freedom as human beings
lies in becoming aware of this imprint, forging new paths into the undergrowth of our thoughts
and opening ourselves up to new experiences. If I succeed in doing this, it is a surprisingly easy
step to be grateful to the person who brought me into my personal power and responsibility
through their negativity.

The negative diary

It’s exciting to keep a “negative diary” for a day to find out which thought patterns are
unconsciously replaying in me again and again:
Where do I judge myself negatively? Where am I ruthless, demanding, in competition with
myself? What do I experience about my fears? Helplessness? Anger? Jealousy? What
thoughts make me feel small? Where do I feel disrespected? Seen? Honored? Loved?
I often realize that I judge others when I judge myself. And I am shocked by the unkindness with
which I treat myself.

The community

When I ask the group: “Who has the feeling that everyone gets along wonderfully in the
community, but not me?” everyone usually raises their hands. This is an aspect of individual
self-perception that focuses on separation and division: I feel excluded, even though the others
recognize me as part of the group. It is a healing “aha” experience that triggers relieved
laughter.

To do deep processes together with others who are on a long retreat on a deep journey to
themselves is a gift. Here I have the space to share my experiences. I learn to communicate
from the heart. I experience how exciting it is when the other person talks about what is on their
mind and doesn’t want to impress or manipulate me with their concepts and opinions. This kind
of communication brings strength, compassion and awareness. What does it mean to be part of
a group? Intimacy comes naturally.

A simple technique is to share with at least one person or in a large circle after each intense
communal or individual experience during the classes to cancel out the “negativity effect” and
re-educate my brain: I express in words what I have experienced and pay attention to the
positive moments that sometimes seem so unimportant. When I express them, it’s like a door
opens: they become big and important.

…the spirit that always denies

As a group leader, how do I deal with the situation when I see that a person with a strong
negative attitude lowers the vibration and often casts a spell over young and inexperienced
students in particular?

There is Uwe, manager, around 40 years old, a strong personality. Not only does he criticize
everything that happens in this course, but stories from his past are always negatively charged,
he is always the victim, others are to blame. He needs followers to give him the feeling of being
“right”. He demands more rules, more book knowledge instead of experiential knowledge. More
discipline.

He himself is often late or absent from lessons: the argument: “I know exactly what I need for
myself and I’m not interested in the rest”. He wants quick answers, wants to consume
knowledge and has no desire to do his own research. He attacks a teacher he doesn’t like
head-on, disrupting the lesson.

What to do in such a situation?

If one person falls ill, the community falls ill

It is important for the group to realize that people who want to impress other people with strong
negative judgments are only carriers for a negativity that not only exists in our mind-controlled
society, but is supported by it.

I was impressed by the perspective of the shamans from small villages in the Amazon basin:

When one person is sick, the community is sick, that person is just a symptom carrier for
everyone. Depression and persistent negative judgments are seen as an illness in these
communities, and everyone in the village has to be present for the healing rituals.
When I see it this way, it is easy for me to take the focus away from the “troublemaker”
and put it on the energy phenomenon. I understand that negativity is also “normal” in a
sangha, a spiritual community – there is no light without shadow here either. This is
important for our teachers to understand.

It has proven to be beneficial and healing to address such controversial topics at the end of the
morning meditation: Each group forms an individual unique group self. As a teacher, I am one of
them. I ask this group “higher self’ in the room for support. I then talk about the phenomenon of
negativity from the collective meditative consciousness space. I ask everyone to use the
experimentation time that such a training provides: “Observe yourself, notice when and how yougive negative judgments into the room or allow yourself to be caught up in negative judgments”.
It is then as if a curtain is lifted and a new lightness flows in.

…the spirit that creates good

What happens when I, as a leader, find myself embroiled in a “battle” with negativity and don’t
know what to do next?

One possibility is to pause, to open up to the intensity of not knowing.

In our tantra yoga retreats, we don’t comfort people who are crying unless they ask us for
support. There are 20 people sitting in a circle, including Susanne. One student is crying hard
and it does her good. Susanne stands up and I say: “Please stay seated, let her cry”. Susanne
looks at me, walks demonstratively halfway around the circle and comforts them until the crying
stops. A triumphant look towards me.

It’s not the right moment to explain that the crying usually stops to comfort the comforter, to do
her a favor. I feel that all the possible reactions I know are now ineffective. All the students are
looking at me intently. “What is she doing now?”.

I don’t know. Time stops.

Then I let go. I let myself fall into this emptiness. I do nothing. I sit with my eyes closed. The
“nothingness” spreads. Becomes intense. It lasts. And then a chant comes out of my heart, soft
and wild.